While each expert had their own ideas and methods on how to do it, they all agreed on one thing. My job was to prepare my children to leave me.
In the early days when my kids woke me up out of a sound sleep, fought me over eating a small spoonful of lima beans and bickered with each other over who got to sit in the middle in the back seat of the car, this idea sounded great. Leave! Leave now!
Over time, things got better and the tables actually turned. I was the one who woke them up out of a sound sleep. They both started liking lima beans and even asked for seconds. And, for the most part, they stopped fussing with each other and started laughing together at their own inside jokes. (They never stopped fighting about the seat in the car.)
Life was good. I loved my job as a mother and slowly forgot my ultimate goal of getting them to leave. I was too busy getting through each day dealing with all the ups and downs that come with raising two children.
Before I knew it, they were heading to college and suddenly... I didn't want them to leave.
At least I could count on them to come home for holidays, an extended winter break and the long, hot summer. When they returned, we resumed our lives all together. My job picked up again and I was back at work being a mother.
Their college years passed faster than I could have ever imagined. I can't believe my daughter now works and lives two hours away and in a month's time, my son will graduate from college and move away to New York City.
When I asked him if we could all get together for one last getaway before he starts his new job, he replied, "I'm not sure I can." That's when it hit me.
It's over. My job as a mother of two children and all that comes with it is behind me.
I did my job. I prepared them to leave me. I now have two adult children who are on their own. They will not be returning for the long, hot summer. They won't be home for a month at Christmas. At best, I will get to see them now and then for an extended weekend.
I feel like Donald Trump has pointed his finger at me and said, "You're fired."
These days as I watch my kids drive away I get tears in my eyes. The tables have turned yet again. When they were little and I went out for dinner and a movie with my husband, they would cry as they watched my car drive away.
Wait a minute.
Scratch that. (Insert the skin crawling sound of a record needle scratching off a record.)
My children never cried when I left. They always loved the babysitter.
Why am I feeling so sorry for myself? I should start celebrating a job well done and a care free life with my husband.
I know it's what is supposed to happen. Like everything else in life with children, it's just another adjustment. As soon as you adjust to them walking into kindergarten, they are moving on to middle school. And, high school and college after that.
It's time for me to adjust. Again. I guess it's time to go back to the library for some new books as well.
 |
| What should I read about next? |